Dating a highly sensitive man

by Peter Messerschmidt and Sarah Sydney Nash Today, I can publicly make such a statement and not feel embarrassed or brace for an onslaught of eye rolling or snide comments from the people around me. Sensitivity — emotional or otherwise — is not exactly a new concept to the world. What Aron’s book did do was to shed some new light on a trait that affects a large number of people, by asking the world to consider sensitivity as an inherent physical trait, rather than pathology.

Although more than fifteen years have passed—and the book has offered profound personal insights to hundreds of thousands of people—there remains a fair amount of skepticism of sensitivity as a “trait.” Interestingly enough, some of this skepticism can be found in the very people who are HSPs, themselves.

These younger guys are both curious and excited about dating a woman who, is not ashamed of what she wants sexually, unlike the younger girls of his own age who are often confused about just about everything, including their romantic and sexual desires.

That relationship between a younger guy and an older woman is likely to be supercharged by a combination of the younger man’s peak sex drive and the older woman’s confidence, experience and her own sex drive.

There is perhaps nobody who experiences love quite like a sensitive person. Elaine Aron has been the lead researcher of what she calls highly-sensitive people, or HSPs, a grouping of men and women who make up about 15-20 percent of the population.

Major traits of HSPs include highly-emotional reactivity, high empathy, sensitivity to subtleness and an overall unique depth of sensory processing.

Psychologically, HSPs compensate for their sensitivity by either protecting themselves by being alone too much, or, by trying to be 'normal' or sociable which then over-stimulates them into stress.

I tend to dabble a little in HSP territory myself, so I started thinking about the ways being a sensitive person in general can affect how you are in relationships.They are often overlooked for promotions even though they are usually the most conscientious employees.They are excellent project oriented employees because they are responsible and thorough in their work. In relationships they may be confronted with their unresolved personal issues.They tend to have more body awareness of themselves and know instinctually when the environment they are in is not working for them. They actually enjoy their own company and are totally comfortable being alone.Both introverted and socially extroverted HSP often find they need time alone to recover after social interactions.