And here I was, after so many years, looking at that list again when it dawned on me that my most recent ex had almost everything on the list -- except one thing. And that's when I bumped into the hiccup—finding the 100% guy, I realized, would be easier said than done.
I had let him have a pass on it because he was 99% on point, and damn, I never scored that high on any test before, so who was I to judge? Here were the main problems: Too much to choose from makes you numb and dumb. Although I was dating again, I was doing what THEY were interested in. But, on dates I was starting to feel like a census pollster trying to figure out how many of my boxes the guy checked. The Breakthrough Soon after I started dating again, a friend asked me about what type of man I wanted. I answered, “He would be the kind of guy who'd invite me to art galleries, for example." My friend came back with, “Well, do YOU go to art galleries?
It bored me and prevented me from connecting with interesting people, and any budding connection stayed on the surface—but I'm cool dammit! I had a long list of what I was looking for in the 100% guy. At the art gallery." That's when it dawned on me that I needed to BE the type of person I wanted to be with.
Post major break-up, sifting through the detritus of my life, I found “THE LIST." Years before, after another brutal split, I had written out an honest list of everything I wanted in a life partner.
From being nice to children and the elderly, to detailed sexual desires I wouldn't let anyone read, I didn't hold back. It was my moment except it was more like Eat, Cry, Eat. So I made a promise to myself: The next guy I was going to meet would be the 100% guy. My hand grabbed the nearest thick red marker and at the top of the list I announced: Armed with my new mandate and ready to move on, I started to date men again.
Yesterday out of boredom I signed onto the dating site where I met for the first time in a long time.
I’m pretty savvy with my online privacy settings and avoided clicking on his profile, so he couldn’t see that I had visited it.